Monday, June 9, 2008

Drooling vs. Spitting

I've been doing a little research to answer the age old question, which is better, drooling or spitting? and I've learned that both have their benefits and drawbacks.

Drooling is by far easier. Just stare at something interesting with your mouth open and it just comes out, whereas for spitting you first have to create the drool and then muster a trumpeting of the lips which requires quite a burst of energy.

Spitting however is far cleaner. By spitting you spray your drool or rice cereal (or whatever happens to be on your face at the moment) onto the person holding you. Drooling just gets you personally all wet.

Spitting has the added benefit of getting a much bigger reaction than drool. Don't get me wrong- a proper drool can bring some well deserved praise, maybe even a chorus of oohs and ahhs. But spit up surprises your audience so that they act quite dramatically, lifting you into the air (away from them) while jerking their head back and forth loudly hailing your profound ability.

Still, I have found the evidence to be inconclusive so far and will continue my research for the greater good of humanity.


Benton in Ballard said...

Thank you Clark for your commitment to serious research. You are a baby and a scholar.

Eva Wagner said...

as dictated to me by Clark...AAhGEE
Translation...Thank you Benton. "Clark" does mean scholarly; I am only trying to fulfill my parents high expectations. So far so good...:)